♥♥♥♥♥♥My Princess Palace♥♥♥♥♥♥: October 2015

Tuesday, 13 October 2015

Feeling sucks

Sometimes, I get pretty emotion.. Especially during the night, when I was alone, I felt very lonely.. And things just kept running through my mind. I kept thinking about what kind of life I'm living now?

I thought I was happy. Because I have family, good friends, boyfriend and two cats. They are the reason why I am living happily.

I don't know when things started to turn so differently. I started feeling regret, scared, frustrated and it added all up becoming a mixed feelings.. From the past until now, I've grew so much. I am growing up to be an young adult, being independent and holding responsibilities adult. The number of my age keep on increasing and I am kinda lost now.. Suddenly, I don't know what's my next step of my life?

I've also realized that there are a number of fake friends living in my life. Those were my nightmare and my burden. But at the same time, it also make me grow stronger each time.

Stepping into the reality of adulthood, somehow it disgusted me. Because it make me understand what is selfishness, fake and hypocritical..

My life goes on just like that.

I don't have the courage to tell out how much I dislike them. I am not brave enough.

However, I am extremely careful now. Every word I speak, every action I do. I need to think twice! Because not everyone is trustable.

I woke up every morning for work. And a job that doesn't make me happy. I am working blindingly, without the real passion, without being happy. I've been whining and complaining about the same old routine that I do everyday. I've been forcing myself to be happy, to learn how to think positively. I've tried to let go the unhappiness and always remember to live happily.

But no, it doesn't work at all.

I am feeling so numb, so tired and so lost for everything. I need to press restart button.